Nonsense: Visions

Visions

	created Sunday, December 1, 2002 at 10:25 PM updated Sunday, January 5, 2003 at 3:38 PM

One o'clock a.m. (0.42 BST) is definitely the best time for finding solutions to the world's problems. Here are some of the enlightening visions we've come up with while trying to fall asleep. (We've noticed that many of them tend to feature animals, food/eating, and death/destruction.)

the keys stick out to the blue hills
harden the waves of freedom
two chords, brown hair
aarg said the stupid witch
cacti, tornados, Dorothy, the farm!
fart goes the buster
the tyranny of penguins
or else the goblins eat pie
cow eating canned food
blue ugly rolex
nuts and bolts; stems and noodles
prepare the cat to dance
why must we butter the needles?
green verde space roots
hands of glue
weights hovering above life
perpendicular oxen eat
they look like cat
the mirror of death cometh hither
aim blar kinka
press alt-ctrl-del, they say
if floor tiles are hard then roof tiles are food
fry the apples of doom
the bird of death flies through purple boogers
even anarchists eat food
bank through chicken
don't fall on Keith
gas inside the walls is translucent
Bob eats hands from Jupitar
pop goes the broom stick
if the shiny yellow dot the wooden yellow peg
holy jumping lima beans
folded rags of staples
jump when the rabbit is dead
the feet of death don't like fingers
textured ceilings eating walls
to eat or to be, that is the frog
never eat baked beans before going to a bonfire
felty leather of doom
can I please eat the fish?
the trash can is full, eat a stone
mountain face like beaver running
no popcorn grass in the gazebo
siz blug
white lions on the ceiling tracked by beavers
'tis Bob's happy day
lump of deluxe
arrow through fish, die Wheaties!
if the watch spins why don't geese
who knows where the penguins go
black shoes of dark skies, Wham! Wham! Wham!
eat a cow, save a life
black rats live on Abe Lincoln
die foul stranger!
don't be courageous or the giraffes will get you
God help the starving fishermen
death to all candle-sniffers
how many light bulbs does it take to light a beaver?
black pants come tonight
the rats are watching you, Dave
hide the peanuts, and nobody gets hurt
of death they cannot play
light the skunk's tail and he'll blow up
human toes taste good in winter
parrakeet of death encroaches
Wheaties fall; a new empire rises
and so to your chickens
black beehives await the dawn
vents taste like mangled strings
grapple-hook through the winter
when the wood-grain slides, womp a cat
even angered cows strive to breath
drop the cheese and die
reach for custard oh madman
is it normal to be stupid?
Ben is a dork
aagh said the potato
random acts of silliness create workhorses
the cows call for me in the moonlight
watch vigilantly, young man, and they will awake
oh when the saints go barfing gin
slobber on the wicked witch
Pythagorean's Theorem tastes like strawberries with chocolate mole
the holes in the ceiling are waiting for us, so do what you're told
the worms are coming so let there be light
whence they came, oh wiseman
the bigger the bear, the smaller the tangerine
why not eat when the eating's good
the sheriff said "oh no"
the shadows are coming to steal the ceiling; the people rejoice
how do we combat the doober
how do we wombat the goober
his name rings a bell or plays a kazoo
beavers: is there nothing they can't do
why take all the pajamas when you can just eat the cheese
inverse relations of goats to mules
the fruit of life dwells by the piccolo of death
attack henry with the bottle of glue
die die chickens live
we all must chew the non-thwacking grass of death
as the good book says make your wise chickens and peanut roast
vacuum, or buy the elephant
I like to study big balls of gas
Houdini didn't escape, he just flew away
Francine, why chuckle and barf
no, my head is not a cow chewing its cud of the dead
into the abyss the woodchucks fly
it was all the fault of the baby elephant
Fran's chicken liver grew like a bald monkey
the tea kettle of shadows is dark
the objects are approaching with lots of teeth
aliens: they're everywhere, except over there and a little to the left
even baby woodchucks are smarter than you!
what if monkeys don't really have uncles?
although my nose does hurt like a tuniper
the oozing clocks will get you
Frank didn't realize he was being chased by the chestnut
Iway atehay igpay atinlay
there's more than one way to roast a penguin; there's two
there's two types of people in this world: those with hair and those with belly buttons
nothing that you see here ever happened, so there
light--pickled octopi could come up with something more creative
walnutty drawers in the French fry's house
bars on the cage of the unbreakable cage
in a thousand years we will all look back and say "UUURGGH SHLAAGAII!"
Germans aren't the type of people you would like to meet in hell
my soap is getting very deadly
flowing water flows over the parched freth
until penguins fly we all will die
open the door to spud spud
your mom is not an olive
but that which flies eats nothing
boy, I wish I had a can of peas
but what are peas if knees bear keys
my monkey could say something smarter than that with both eyes tied behind his ears
ah well, your peanut has 12 shells
glinting monkey breath
tooth sucker
French death isn't to be sneezed at
the purple and green go well with the fish's eyes
organ music; scourge of the civilized world
under the bed lurks the shadowy rodent
hogwash! we don't need those stinkin' buffalo
but of the pants they wear puns
the narf knuckles aren't really what you think they are
freshmen are kind of like cheese, after while they get moldy
why is there cow hanging on my window
beware of the objective radish
the flies will arise and poke out your eyes
if only the scartchy death foo ... AHH! MY FOOT!
a cactus and a turtle could easily spike a monkey
groundhogs: nature's little rednecks
pickles aren't as think as you drunk they are
wow, it would be wierd to be a fish
swim swim, splish splish, wumpa wumpa, ahhh it's a bird!
oh my dog, I'm dyslexic
yes sir, my wrist is foo
if only the world were a better place, mice could live under caribou
the chain bird has nothing but food with arms outstretched
the armchair squealed
And I say, what about the hand, writing on the wall; did anybody ask him?
octopus-like plasma can't eat your Frenchman every day
but flying ducks from Jupiter are the answer to our phone cords
snorking whatsit ate the Bob foo
are you going to turn off the bed?
hark! The herald toaster flings
I wish I was a spud
helpfulness is tripled when you eat a duck
oblong turnips ate my freedom
no, Herald! Watch out for the flying ducks!
ornatyi me amatsi glump glump
or not your mayo nazi glump glump
you should be glad that Mayo Cheese Tongue was not the leader of the Swedes
the circle of life is foo
who the foo just ate my gnu?
my name is Joe DiMaggio, I am here to eat your peanut
frankly, I don't trust these new-fangled bathrooms
are you a spoon fungus?
have you seen my invisible monkey?
when the duck flies towards the moon its hair falls out
opportunity is the mother of injection
never forget to wash your glands for they may go and join a band of woodchucks wandering aimlessly through far and distant lands
origami is the root of all evil (therefore origami squared = all evil)
yodeling hamsters aren't contagious, but they sure are damn courageous
don't forget the tuna peppers
so tasty your dog ate a light bulb
are corn dogs really legal?
do you have a mocha license?
mmm....penguins
that thing is chewing on my foot
I wish I were a turnip because then I could sit on things
you should get that eaten off; it's blocking my vision
do you want an orange peanut?
if only monkeys lived on lakes then surely cars would not need brakes
I saw a beaver, opening its mouth, sucking me in
the visions of the sea, with meat