"[Microsoft] was controlling the soldering iron! My hand just happened to be there at the wrong time!" -David, trying to explain why Jonathan defaced a penny with a soldering iron
"I've always wanted to swallow a microscopic camera in my Cheerios." -Jonny, while trying to swallow Jonathan's microphone in an attempt to explore his inner being
"I'm making a cow, you dip!" -Jonny
"Heh heh. I love puffy sugar." -Ben, eating marshmallows
"Dude, we're making tons of money. I love this opium stuff!" -Jonny, while playing a computer game (really!)
"Let me get high first; then I'll show you." -Jonny, on the swing
"It's my turn to be God!" -Ben
"If I could, like, unhinge my jawbone, I would eat people's heads and stuff." -Ben, while discussing snakes
"Zelda is going to die! Or vice versa." -Jonathan, while playing Worms Armageddon
"Die, scum of death!" -Jonny, on numerous occasions
"Okay, Lincoln!" -Ben, holding a soldering iron above a hapless penny
Jonathan: "Don't light my shirt on fire!"
Jonny: "Actually, I was going for your hair."
"Try orangutan--it's monkeylicious!" -David, randomly
"No matter how many beers you give to a monkey he still won't be stupid enough to type out Shakespeare for you." -Ben
"Okay, the next person to say, 'And I'm an ugly peanut' dies!" -Ben, (we have no idea what he was doing or thinking)
Little girl on TV: "Having a dog makes life better..."
Jonathan: "Because you can eat it."
"I can't wait until everyone has cybernetic implants like the Borg in Star Trek. Then we techies can bypass the biological parts of stupid people and finally be able to communicate to the public." -Ben
"Sweet! We have green lights!" -Jonny, while setting up a LAN
"OK, enough thinking, now let's code!" -Ben, after thinking for less than ten seconds
"I have fun blowing up my car. I can't wait till I get my license." -Jonny, playing Big Red Racing
"With my skill combined with your skill, we could have...uh...lots of skill." -Jonny
"If it were 15 years ago I would have to write this in Assembly...and be able to somehow type at the age of negative 1." -Ben, referring to the wonders of computers
"David, go downstairs so I can talk to you!" -Jonny, while testing a chat program
"Now, this whole time concept: Is it something I can eat?" -David, pondering aloud the mysteries of the universe at 1:00 a.m
"We can all speak our own languages and be perfectly happy." -David
"I gave them paper, and the fools did work for me! MWAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAA!" -Jonathan, after having his bike repaired
The epitome of geekdom:
Jonny: "Actually, bulky motherboards are kinda cute."
Ben: "Hey, do you have any caffeine?"
"Dad, can we secede?" -Jonathan
"I wouldn't want some partially dead zombie stalking me for the rest of my life." -Ben
"I wish I had all the money that I've spent on stupid stuff in the past. Then I could spend it on stuff that I'll think is stupid in the future." -Ben
"Well, you can't have a bottomless jar of pickles every day." -Jonathan
David: "You can have my sandwich."
Kyle Johnson: "Are you calling me fat?"
"Writing isn't hard at all; you just have to pretend you're an infinite number of monkeys." -David
Ben: "The time has come."
David: "It usually does."
"Real men don't need floppy disk covers." -David
"I haven't thought of Abe Lincoln for several weeks now." -David
"It's mostly parallel." -Ben, while working on Trebuchet version 2.0
While discussing an example problem in physics class involving colliding ducks:
Mike (teacher): "We can't make a duck frictionless!!!"
Student: "Ya wanna bet?"
"Boredom makes me assert my non-walnutness." -David
"...eventually the stuff in there is going to build up power and revolt." -David, referring to the dust in Ben's keyboard
"Hey!! Quit poking me in the molybdenum!" -David (while wearing his Periodic Table of the Elements shirt)
"He's a lever...he's a triangle...he's....Fulcrum Boy!" -Ben
"All duct tape leads to Rome." -Jonathan
"Never mess with a guy with a semi-automatic guitar." -Ben
"Ambrosia: nectar of the gods; Tomato soup: soup of Ben. They're the same
thing ... if nectar and tomato soup were the same thing." -Ben, while
discussing lunch menus
"There are many ways to Hell, but I'm looking for the most direct route." -Jeff (planning a bike trip to the lovely town of Hell, Michigan)
"It's beginning to look parkish on the left." -Jonathan, while looking for a disk golf course
"The floor's on fire!" -overheard from some McDonald's employees while we were eating (soon after we heard "Don't distract him; he can't do more than one thing at once!")
Jonathan: "Time flies when you're differentiating."
David: "Let me show you my integral."
(Nonsense meets calculus...be very afraid.)
"We're not for-profit; we're for world domination!" -Jonathan
"My banana flower is dead." -Peter
"We're going propless... but we'll still have clothes." -Ben, while planning a talent show act
"You're scaring the wildlife." -David
"We are the wildlife!" -Jonathan and Ben, simultaneously
"We can always change who's who's child." -Ben (discussing parent child relations between posts on the Nonsense website)
"No shoes are the best...just like no government." -Ben
"It's not just a coincidence that beaver and beautiful are on the same page of the dictionary." -Ben
David: You couldn't ask for better weather!
Jonathan: Did you just say, "You couldn't ask for a better weapon?"
(While camping and putting together tent poles)
"King Arthur lives on in all of us." -Ben
"Ben's repair shop -- anything for a tummy rub." -Ben
